Pillow Dreaming (ended).

Blog Moved.

2009-11-30T21:45:00.000-08:00

Yeah, decided to create a new blog and Ignore this one at the moment.
Reading everything here makes me feel like crap.

So I needed to freshen up a little and restart. :)

Here's the new blog. --> http://pammydays.blogspot.com/

Be seeing you there. :D

Laptop Status: Down.

2009-10-10T23:49:00.001-07:00

Sad. My laptop has been in service for 2 weeks already. And I miss it. Using my dad's now. Hm, the servicing maybe done in a month or less, they say. I hope it's less.

A major random and sudden shutdown occured everytime i used it. o.o And I'm not sure why. The screen became too fuzzy from time to time. It succesfully annoyed my eyes. (I got myself spectacles like 2 months ago).

Hmm. Home has been boring. Wished I had my own car to drive around and such. There is an extra car at home, only that it has problems starting up. And I'm scared of using it. The coolness about that car is that it's sound is like a sportscar. :D (bangga) Though, it's old already (car was since 1993). It's Toyota brand and i'm not sure what's the name of that Toyota. xDD I like it, how the shape is and also the sound. I (together with my mum, my sis, my bro) suggested to my dad to send it to the workshop and change the whole engine, so it can be awesome once again. He said he will. YET. Those suggestions was made months ago, and i haven't seen any progress; still sitting under the garage roof. =.= We kept reminding him though.

Hmm.

Addicted to Virtual Worlds. Help. xD

2009-10-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

I've been REALLY addicted to Virtual Community Worlds OR as I would call it 'My(Pam only) MMOs' sites since 2006/07. O_O
My current favourite is
IMVU Inc.
GaiaOnline

I've been interested into fashion's and stuffs. And it was because of these 2 amazing sites. ^w^ And i've became an emote whore. O_O .. xD

The first time I got myself involved in MMOs was when i was in my primary age. That time the house only used phone lines. (+.+") The first site that got me quite addicted was NeoPets. They were cute with all the unique pets and games. I got too addicted, I introduced it to some of my friends. And one of them was Sabby. :3 She joined later than I am. Though, I wasn't good enough getting my Neopoints growing. =.= Eventually, I stopped playing because of that. Haha. And somehow, I forgotten about that site for a few years. One day, I was on the phone with Sabby, she was onlining. She bragged about her Neopets, especially her points, which was utter lot. I lost. Q.Q Congrats Sab! xDD

After so many coursing around the net looking for some interesting MMO, I finally found some that I still stick with until today. Those 2 names listed above. xD There was also There and Habbo MY. But I wasn't really stickin' my butt there. (._.) Hehe.

I do enjoy online RPGs too. Though, I never stay long that much. Like Angels Online MY, Luna Online, Cabal Online and etc. Again as I said, I always stopped playing half way while still leveling up.

Here some of my outfits in IMVU that I saved so far. Lol. I'm weird, I know. :D

And my Gaia Online!! :D

<3 luffs.

And YES, now you know that I am an ONLINE GAMING FREAK or I would call myself just a simple GEEK. I love Virtual Community Sites. I love fashions (tho the real life me is not such a self dressed designer). I love friends. :)))

Oh yeah, and i've added my IMVU profile lately in the MY! section --->
:D

Nom nom. OwO

My cat is finally home!!

2009-09-23T03:57:00.000-07:00

Cry of happiness!! T^T

Yeah, he's home. Finally. He was all dirty and all. I wonder where he went.

Few possibilities that cause him to disappear:

1. He may be looking for his own 'amoi' (lol)
2. Kidnapped?! (There were lots of kids at my neighbour's house - you never know one off them took them home)
3. He was on an adventure (like what Sabby said)

What else? I'm not sure. Lol.
But I'm just glad he's home. Sabby kept telling me this - "I WAS RIGHT!" Lol. Yeah, yeah, Sab. Maybe you were right. Haha.

Now he's been lying on the floor every where in the house. Haha. I love to see him do that. If that happens, I'd always say, "Buruk oh kau, Meow!!" And eventually hug it. ^_^

Happy again.

My cat is missing!

2009-09-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

And it's making me depress so badly!!

It's been only 2 days, but me and my whole family couldn't stand the loneliness without Sampari! (that's the name)

Argh!! Where has he gone too?? I missed him. T_T I miss how the little one enters the room and drops his body on the floor just like that, then end up sleeping. AAHH!! Meeaoouuww~! Where are you??

Even if i make posters about him missing, i don't think that would work. I'm living in a kampong area. There might be lotsa stray cats wandering around here. So, i don't think anyone can tell.

He used to have his red collar my sister bought it for him. But sometime a week ago, he lost it somehow. He doesn't look 'mahal' anymore. Lol. >.<;;

Me and my sister realized how he was acting a few days before he went missing. He looked so gloomy and somehow, uh, lonely?? I dunno. Wargh. I missed him.

The special thing about this little guy is that he was found by my dad and brother nearby a large pile of trash. He was just a week old when they found him, meowing for food. They found him curled up inside a box. I'm guessing that he was thrown out?? (ima kill that owner.. jk)
Now, he's 1 year old. He likes strolling around our house's orchard, what more if there's humans. My mum and dad always goes to the orchard in the evening. Sampari would even join them gardening or just watch them.

Everytime my mum called for him, he would listen. But now, even if my mum called for a hundred times, there's no Sampari.

Agh. Come home Sampari~~ T_T

Yeah he always looked so angry. That's why i love him! T.T

Music vids??

2009-09-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

Lol. It's kinda fun makin' music vids.

"You're making music vids??"
Well, yes i kinda am. But i don't think it'll be my permenant hobby. Right now it's only one. Soon, there's gonna be a few. I use guitar as me instrument. And my sister is also inside some of the vids! xD Mostly songs that are easy songs to sing and play with the guitar. :)))

"Kiss Me" song by Sixpence None The Richer
Singer in this vid - Me and my sis.
Dedicated to people who are in love. ^^

Well here's the first one (published!! O_O). And it has a VERY BAD quality of audio. Sorry for that. I'm gonna make some more soon. ^_^

Made this for fun. Enjoy. If there are more videos made, ima be uploading it here - maybe. ^_^

Favorite Dinning Table Activity :))

2009-09-11T22:01:00.000-07:00

What i like about when having dinner in my house, is that i get to eat my mom's cooking. And if there's even visitors (and they're my relatives), they'll actually offer themselves to cook for dinner! Oh yeah! >xD I love it.

The other thing that i like about having dinner or lunch and maybe breakfast is when everyone is on the table and have their beverage slurping and the the food being eaten, people will start chit-chatting about things in life. That's my favorite part. Listening to interesting facts or ideas or just jokes!

Haa. Like today, my grandpa sat there for lunch with the family, he tells his adventure trip to the Herbalist yesterday. Hehe. It was quite an interesting story although it's nothing exciting, but the it's how the people tries concentrate to listen to his story is just nice. ^_^

Yet, sadly to say, there would be other times on the dining table where I will be nagged a lot about studies and other related things of me - like being in front of the computer so long or just not do anything rather than being inside the room. Sigh. But that's how my dad has been all these years. I should be immune to it. But, it would be a rude thing if I don't listen to him. So, yeah, I'll just be respectful and give him the nagging time he wants. Like my mum always say, he's doing it for the better me. I think. (still, i try to protect myself by protesting and such). Hm.

It's all of a sudden that I mention about the dining table. But yeah, it's the only place where everyone gathers together and share their thoughts with the rest. I have to cherish all these moments, cuz i know, sooner after, I won't be sitting with them anymore. :(

Happy dinner everyone. ^_^ (What? I posted this in the afternoon?! Lol.)

o _ o

2009-09-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know.

Where ever i may be, i'm always having a hard time. I mean, here at home my dad is like pushing me around to study my physics. I'm like, "I'm not taking physics anymore!!"

Yes, i've changed my future career. I'm gonna be a Quantity Surveyor. Look it up in Wikipedia, you'll find out what job is that. And i'm focusing to this job. NO more change (i hope). Cuz, for all this while, i realize that i don't know what my dream job is. Yeah, i don't know. I ENVY people who has one. One example, Sarah Leong (a very good friend of mine) wishes to be a Lawyer in the future. And she tries her best to get into any institute to get that course. Now, she's just waiting for the UiTM results to come out for the December intake. In the mean time, she's taking computer graphics.

Another example is my neighbor's son. Lawson was his name. He's now in Limkokwing taking Architecure. Argh!! He went to Cambodia the other day to do his practical - at the ACTUAL site!!! Omg! His mother told us that he doesn't care how long or how hard it will take; it's because he likes architecture. Sigh. I'm in an envious mode right now.

This also goes the same to another friend, Emarald, sister. Her sister works as an architect assistant or some sort. I ask Ema whether being an architect to her(sister) is hard or not. Ema told me that she wasn't sure, but what she was sure of is that her sister loves architecture. Hmm.

And then, there's Sabby. She's already made her way to the Bachelors. She's taking tourism (i'm right?). She's actually very good at it. She told me once that she wanted to be a businesswoman. And so she is becoming one, once she finished her studies and all. Huh.

Envy.

From listening to all this, i begin to wonder - what the hell i wanna do in my life?? This question actually came up after i got myself out off matrics and met with my relatives in my aunt's house the other day (my youngest cousing was celebrating his 1st month day). So there i was helping around with the preparations, till one uncle and aunt asked me, "So you're out of there?'
And i said, "Yes,"
They asked, "Are you happy?"
"I am...," with a slight 'question-mark- tone in the end. I realize i wasn't pretty sure whether i'm happy of being where i am now (a nothing-to-do person).

Then, it reminded me of one of my closest aunt's question last year after SPM:
"What are you gonna continue as in the future?" she asked.
"Civil Engineer," I answered.
"Do you LIKE being a civil engineer?" she asked again.
"Oh, i don't know. But my dad wants me to do it, so i do it," I said plainly.
"Are you sure you want this?"
"Um, i guess,"
"If YOU, what do you actually want to be?" she continued.
"Uh.. i don't know..?" I puzzled myself.
"What? Really? I'm sure you want to be something," she smirked a bit.

Wow. This question triggered me A LOT this time, right now.

After a lot of thinking, i like maths. So, I'ma go continue as a Quantity Surveyor (checked out how the job is. including picture searching). It's gonna be like a rodeo ride, but i'll make it through. I saw this sentence in one institute that was describing about Q.S. , it said "Best VALUE for MONEY".
I couldn't resist.

Yet, my dad is giving me a lot of trouble nowadays. Like i said, he was pushing me to study my physics (OH COME ON!). Yeah. He also told me to go look for a school that provides that course. I found one. UCS - United College of Sarawak. It's in Sibu. It was the first private college to get the LAN from the government. I was proud to listen to that. Heh. LAN, look through it. ^_^;; I kinda forgot the full explanaition. The next intake from now will be in Jan. Great! But gargh! My dad forced me to look for uitm. I found one too, it's in Sarawak as well (uitm sabah doesn't provide it) but the intake is in DECEMBER. I don't wanna miss Christmas!! Dx
I was kinda having a hard time thinking it through (did a small quarrel with my dad again). I even shed my tears but heh, no one would care what those mean. Sigh. Went to BSN today to get that registration slip. Tried to register myself in Uitm. Ngeh. An Error occured. Oh well, might as well continue doing that another time.. tomorrow?? Sigh.

ANYWAY. I've been drawing, Gaia onlining, watching Whose line is it anwayw (thanks sab!) and playing this Mystery Case File - Return to Ravenhearst. This game is creepy, but it's better than playing counter-strike sometimes. xD

Toodles. Ima go do lots of thinking again.

Hah. I'm out. Lol.

2009-08-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

A relief Sigh.

I'm finally out of matrixs. "That's a relief." Heh.

Today was Thursday and i skipped the whole day's class just to finish the process of ending my life here. It turned out to be easy. I thought it might take me the WHOLE day, but it didn't. To calculate it right minusing the problem getting offer letter to me and finding the warden and such - I would say it only took an hour. Haaaa. And it's finally done. The only thing to do now is pack my stuffs and wait for my family to bring me home.

Though i kinda feel sad - not that i'm leaving this place, but leaving my beloved friends there. The only thing that i enjoyed being there is 90% because of friends. I'm so gonna miss them! T^T I'm miss my roomies (Anna, Kero, Ryn), Darinie, Ika, Fasya, Syuk, Rosman, Imran. Not forgetting my turorial friends (whom i think it's the most weirdest and laziest tutorial friends i can get, lol in a good way) especially Yenney (my everywhere-we-go-together friend) and Mia (the hot chick! Lol, she's fun and smart). :)

Classmates. ^_^ Some are missing tho. D:

My Everywhere-we-go-together friends. ^^

Roomies that you would wish for. I would.

Beautiful friends. Ika took this pic. Nice isn't?

10% goes to :
The offer they give (a year in matrix, then head straight to uni - that is if you pass)
The teachings they give (especially in ICT class; MAN! I was just about to learn how to build my own website, but what to do)
And the jokes that the lecturers always share: Mr. Saad with the quote "Buruk betul!"; Sir Shahril 'Handsome' if that's what he want to be remembered as (Block D's awesome fellow); Mdm Haslinda, the most fun Dynamic Skill teacher you can get!!; Miss Chan (my mentor) and some more. :)

Ngahhh~
I made this thing like 12.00 am. MERDEKA!!

Lol. We had fun, me and yenney in Muet Class. xD

Tilt your head for this one. Lol.

Sand man. Heh?

2009-08-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

Sent this email to my dad the other day:

(Will add the pics soon)

Here are the pictures I could get today. I don’t know if this is enough.

Description about the Pictures: (mostly taken on the 13^th of August)

There are pictures showing 6 blue water tanks that’s 99% empty. Itu kan, everyday, if the tanks were still filled water when there was no water around KML, long lines of humans will be created around the tanks to get themselves water.

There is also a picture of empty buckets lining up outside of the owners’ rooms, hoping that they would get it filled with water soon.

There are 3 pictures of students of KML lining up to get water from one of the water taps that still flows water. Don’t know how long it will stand. This situation will start everyday at around 4pm. Everyone hopes they could get themselves water. Kadang-kadang, bila sudah berbaris 10++ orang, baru orang yang ke-4 sudah mati tu air. Sangat mengecewakan. Yang gambar-gambar sya ambil tu, masa tu ada lebih kurang 8 orang tu. Saya rasa ada lagi ramai cuma dorang kasi biar tu baldi dorang situ harapkan tu barisan sikit dulu baru dorang datang balik.

There’s a picture of one girl heading to the surau to get water from there. Last time, my roommates and I went there when we were really desperate for water. But it was after 8pm. By the time we arrived there, kami kena suruh balik sudah and them saying, “Tinggal untuk kegunaan surau lagi,” I can’t say anything. Pusing balik la.

The tap water is our only hope when the water dries out from the tank. And this one is behind our block (Block madani D). I’m writing this whole thing right now which is 5.40pm, ada sudah orang mandi situ dekat tu tap water. Good thing the water is still flowing. For now.

Relate this with the H1N1 case.

Here’s what my close friend (who’s already out of matrics) told me today when I told her about the increase number of infected people from 3 person to 6 person in 2 days. Through SMS. Filtered the language. [Sorry for the inconvenience.]

And I quote – “ ISH! (Censored word) oh matriks! (Censored) the edu minister! Ko tau knpa byk kes tu?!! SEBAB TIADA AIR!!! Kan kalau kes gini, d most important thing is HYGIENE!! Kalau tda air, camana mau cuci tgn?! Stupid punya kerajaan. Hipokrit mo mampus!!”

She quit matrix last 2 weeks. She wanted to take law. So yeah, she quitted. I would say, she’s lucky to be out of here.

Here’s what I want to say about matrix.

Well yes, of course this is the best way to get into to university. But here, the name is Matriculation. Sadly, the facilities are terrible. Water source is horrible. College management is very unexceptional. The Tenaga Pengajar is unremarkable. Did you know, dorang ada juga mengumpat about the students of their kuliah?? My classmate, a good friend of mine, shared this with me yesterday. She went to the Menara Pentadibiran/MP where all the lecturers are, and wanted to ask questions about maths. So, she was tip toeing around the area to look for available lecturers to ask – most of them were busy and some already went home. Anyways, ada la dia jumpa juga satu maths lecturer – kami punya kuliah lecturer baru tukar and she is ketua bahagian maths ka, something like that. Tapi sebelum my friend pegi tegur dia, dia masih lagi lalu-lalu tu kawasan mau cari lecturer lain. As dia lalu tu kawasan, dia terdengar la conversation of our lecturer sama satu lecturer lain. “Ah, apa juga tu F4. Tak lengang …” Kami kuliah F4. Dia, kami punya lecturer baru, cakap begitu pasal kami yang dia baru ja masuk mengajar?? Even so, my friend pegi juga tempat lecturer tu la. Dia pun cakap, “Miss, boleh minta ajar ni..?” Directly the lecturer say to her, “Takde lecturer lain ke yang available?” My friend terdiam sekejap. She replied, “Uh, I’m F4, miss.” Quickly the lecturer reply, “Oh ye ke!? Sorry, sorry. Ape die?”

Hipokrit. It seems yang dorang ni sebenarnya have no intention to ajar us. How useless is that. Buat sya kecewa hati oh.

And during this H1N1 season, I just wish they let this place close down for a while. It’s okay if they have to extend the month till next June. Asalkan kurangkan tu risiko daripada semua orang kena tu penyakit. Baru ja tadi, got one female lecturer disyaki ada h1n1. And she’s pregnant. This is very terrible.

I’m actually scared at this disease. I wanna go home. Kalau nda pun, jauh dari ni penyakit la. Okeh la. Itu ja bebelan sya hari ni. Hehe.

SIGH

2009-08-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

I can't do things properly.

[[written this on the 5th of August 09 in KML - done offline.]?

Life became as ‘hell’ here back in KML. Dx Anyways. It’s been terrible. And today is only the third day after the college break! D8

Ahem. This is gonna be darn long.

At the airport, while waiting for the bags at the Pick Up Luggage area for so long (I think it was about 15 mins or more) most of the Ex To-Labuan passengers haven’t got their bags yet. And I was also like “Ugh, my uncle’s waiting for me outside!!!” >[]<;; Getting a little more frustrated when the rollers stopped more minutes later! Everyone was looking at each other with the face expression go “Huh!? What the heck? Where are our bags??” Thank God, it finally started moving again after a while – and FINALLY with our bags!!

I thanked my uncle so much for sending me back to the college. I was so sleepy, (I slept at 5.30am on Saturday – enjoying my last bits of the Internet. My parents got sick of me sitting in front of the computer 24-7.) But I needed to unpack my things and prepare for class on the next day.

Suddenly there was an announcement about an assembly on that night regarding about H1N1. GAH! I can’t sleep early tonight! Dx So, I went for the gathering. Temperatures was checked, lucky thing that I was in perfect health – seriously, I never wanna get that illness; quarantined? No way! But I was hoping (and so does everyone else) that there would be someone… just someone, who actually might already got infected with that illness! (Then the college will be closed! Hooray? 8D) Sadly, (but at the same time, thank God) no one got infected. Fuh. We were sent early back to our dorms (hooray again) because the Health Department was not able to give a speech that night, so, it was postponed to this Thursday.

Back at the dorm, DANG! NO WATER! AGAIN?? Whut the!? The first day after college break still hasn’t got any enough water? This college is really terrible I tell ya.

On the next morning, it was quite a haze in Labuan. It was also HOT. At the same time, HUMIDITY. Add some more NO ELECTRICITY! I can’t blame the college, but yeah. Really terrible being back here. AND IT’S DARN HOT. STILL no water! D:{

On that night before heading to sleep, I went out to see whether the water was already back, but NO~ it’s not back on yet. Sad. Students were still lining up to get their buckets filled at the water tank area – around my ground floor area. Then I saw some students were ‘pilling’ up at one corner of the area. My roommate was of them. She told us that there was a snake slithering that area. They made a report to the Fellow. (I wanted to see and take a picture of it, but there were lots of people, so, never mind). Maybe I could check it out on the next day. Sadly, it was already been killed and swept away the next day. Disappointment.

Things got worse when I finally realize that my pencil case was GONE! Argh. I didn’t brought it back to the room? How careless was I? (Yes, I blame myself) I think I left in the Tutoring Room. But checked back that place, I didn’t even see any light-purple fabric looking pencil case. My mood changed throughout the day. I wasn’t that talkative. I just gave simple answers like “Em”, “Uh-Huh”, “No”, “Yes”, “Oh” and etcs. Really. I had no mood. There was also an audition to join the KML Art club. I was suppose to join that. But no. I have no spirits for it.

The poster i made. T^T I want my pencil case back.

Sad. I did told my mum about my missing ‘case’. She gave me the same supporting words which I don’t really like to hear anymore. It makes me even sadder. I have no idea why. Her words were “You are strong, you know that, and you know that you can find a way to do what you need to do”. I don’t like it. I got tired hearing it. Seriously, I do. PEOPLE please, STOP repeating those same words OVER & OVER AGAIN. It’s not making me feel any better. I’m sorry, but I think it’s useless. It sounded so fake. It’s as if you don’t even wanna help me solve my problems. Even though I know, you’re not around me to help me so, but using that phrase will not work at all. I know I’m supposed to be independent about this. BUT at least, just give me IDEAS or POINTERS or HINTS of what should I do! ONE POINT IS ALREADY ENOUGH! I don’t want something that’s only been spoken and no results will come out with it.

Hazes man. -.-"

‘Why am I so serious about my pencil case by the way’ you ask? Well, for some reason, I care so much for that case. What’s not to? I have my calculator (which I’ve been holding on it for almost 4 years already), 2 pen drives (one is a 1GB and the other is a 4GB! Wargh!), my pens, pencil, an orange with an orange smell like highlighter, my favorite ruler, stapler, stapler bullets and my eraser. Argh! I’m so sad.

I had a bad tummy ache in the early morning. Added with my emotional moment over my missing pencil case, the lack and loss of water we get everyday, a little bit of my homesickness, some more the hazy-air condition we’re having right now, and the H1N1 disease spreading about. I also wanted to add the pressure I get from the homeworks I get from classes, but that’s everyone’s matter here too, so nevermind that, I guess. My roommate are being noisy right now, I don’t like it with my bad mood right now as I’m typing this now. The UPS results will be coming out soon, add it to my depression mood. Last Sunday I didn’t go to church and I’m so sad. I was disappointed that my dad didn’t woke us up that morning. He was the earliest one to wake up. I slept late, I can blame myself, but he was suppose to wake us up that morning no matter what!

[This one is for Sarah:]

Oh yes, one of my bestest and closest friend had already left KML, Sarah Leong. I got a hard full stop when she told me that for one moment. […really, it was painful.] AGH! When will these sad moments get over with!? Sarah, you were the one who told me before to hang on for a bit more when I told you I wanted to leave KML. So I hung on. But… you left first. I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED at you Sarah. The time that we first discussed about leaving college after UPS, you told me about you telling me that you wanted to leave (and I took it very seriously) but you said you had to think about it first. I WAS ABOUT TO CRY READING YOUR MESSAGE YOU KNOW!? But I can’t, I was in a shopping mall. -_- It would be idiotic of me to cry out of nowhere there. I kept my promise not to tell anyone. The day when I had an outing with Darinie, Kero, and Ryn at CP (the one that you were suppose to join to but you can’t), I had a very difficult time keeping my mouth shut about it. I almost told Darinie about it, but still, I can’t do that. During the days of you still thinking whether you wanna change or not, I was really hoping that you would stay~! Dx I seriously anggap you like my big sister (it was because how you took care of us, and letting me sleep in your room). GAWD! We missed watching movies in your room and being crazy about stuffs the whole day, sarah. You usually be our leader about almost anything. I always thought you were the wiser one in the Twilight Group. See?! Even you created that group name. Then, you enroll yourself for the JPP. You had courage. You hoped of joining the choir when you thought you couldn’t get it. You got it. Dui, you always had the CRAZIEST ideal. Dang, you left. Missed you Sarah. PLEASE, keep in touch.. wait, every time if I say this, it will never happen. Hm… I know! Jgn lupa clubbing kita nanti? Heee~ :D My sister. :'] Miss you dear. T^T

…

Sigh.

I can’t do anything right, right now. I feel like crying as well. I was hoping that coming back here (in KML) I would make the best of my time here (I thought positively), since I was not given the support to leave this place. Yeah, I wanted to leave. Now, I lost a friend (I mean, she left here already).

I have to say, I am really, devoutly, in need for some love. I need someone to share this with and simply give me meaningful supports. I need God. Hearts for all. Sigh.

I've been in KML for 3 months already. I still wanna go home.

I feel so sad.

2009-08-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

Do you hear that sound?
I'm falling to the ground.
The U curve on my face,
had turn into a frown.
The smiles i make,
now seems to be fake.
I'm sorry,
but don't worry.
I just want the ending of this story.
I feel so sad.
I feel so bad.
I want out too,
but i don't know what to do.
Things had been terrible,
from single to double.
I think i'm not in a panic state,
Maybe, i don't know, or is it too late?
It's been a mess,
It's a stress.
To me, i guess.

God hear my wish.
I wish to be out of this.
A mess that i'm going through,
I can't see through.
What lies ahead of me.
Still, i can't see.
I want help if you dare,
I want a friend for my problems to share.

I miss all my friends, i miss my family. I feel sick, i know i'm homesick. Now, it's hard to attain, but I want to be happy again.

2009-07-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE HECK!?

Since when i'm a ... Horse?! D8<

FYI, people!
I Am in the year of the Goat/Sheep. I'd pick sheep though. They're cuter. ^w^

Baa~~

Sad.
Tried to edit that thing, still, no change. That's why i posted this up. Oki!? Don't get it wrong.
I am in the year of the *spells* S-H-E-E-P and pronounced as Baa! xD

2009-07-25T02:16:00.000-07:00

Mosqueeetos! Dx I REJECT THEM.
Who doesn't?!

Ah, it's a wonderful day at home when suddenly swarms of mosquitoes attack!! Gaaaahh! *runs around squealing, tries to find shelter!*

There's only one thing that i can say I'm proud of KML la. They have less mosquitoes, since they lack of water. >.> (Good point?) Unlike at home right now, where there's plenty of water (including rain) and lots of undrained drain, mosquitoes are able to produce their eggs every where.

Gaaahh!! It's soo frustrating! Dx I can't even go out of the house freely anymore! There's too much of them! (Notice i use the word 'much' rather than 'many'? That means, they are uncountable!!! UNCOUNTABLE i tell ya!!!) Dx Even if you step one step out of the house, there are like 10 or more of them waiting for you outside the door! It's what had happened to me yesterday, when i was walking outside around the house to go play with my cat (who was jumping and running around so jollily, playing with the grass; he looked so cute so i thought I'd joined him). I walked only a few meters away from my house door and stared down at my leg - OH EM GEE!!! 3-4 of mosquis on each leg!!!! GAAAHH!!! My mood had changed from calm and collected to PSYCHO AND MANIAC!

"Kill 'em!! Kill 'em!!" my brain ordered me. SO, i went slapping my legs and my hands the whole time. From being a happy and jolly cat friend, to a mosquitoe slapping machine. Guhhhhrggh!

It's not safe anymore~ *glares left and right.. SMACK!!* Gah, killed another one while doing this blog. Ugh. They're every where.

{MY HAND}

Before. Look at that icky sick little shape! D8<

SMACKK!!!! *pukul*

After. Smeared. OHHH YEAAHHHH BABY!!! Dx The Aweee!!

MOSQUITOES are my ENEMY. They had always been. Ever since i was a girl! Dx It wasn't like this before, when i was still home, before entering college! D; The world is full of these enemies naoo!! DDD8{

I'm exaggerating. *ahem.*

But it's true. Sad. This weren't like this before when i was home, when i was not in college yet. I was still able to run around with my dogs, chasing my cats and tripped over a rock then hurt my knee around the house. (Yeah, i am clumsy sometimes).

SMACK!!! Killed another! :D ... Wait. It's not a mosqui. It was a moth!!!! NOOOOO!!! I killed a moth!!! I killed something that isn't a mosqui!! Gaah!!

See. This is the problem i get every time. Mistakenly kill something else rather than the real mosquito itself. Dang. My hand, it's full of moth dust.

Sigh, all i just wanna say is ...

SAY NO TO MOSQUITOES!!!
*holds up banner on one hand and a mosquito swatter on the other*

2009-07-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

My Tracking Of The Solar Eclipse
Yes, i observe the eclipse. *ahem*

Today, i was awaken by the sound of my hand phone. My aunt called me and she was talking about my flight back to Labuan soon. Anyway, when i realized that it was already 8.24am, i quickly jump off bed and switch on to CNN. GASP! The solar eclipse tracking just begun!

Yay!! I'm excited to observe this!! The last solar eclipse was when i was still around 9 years old?? I forgot. And I was such an infant that time, i didn't even know that it was dangerous to look directly. Still, i don't remember that much about the eclipse that time. >.>

I dig for films and sunglasses and ran to the window to see the sun. You know, using the film to see the sun ... I think it's very useless. D: It still pains my eye staring at it thought the film. Then, i turned on my laptop, and start typing this.

Now is 8.55am. Ima go and check it out for a while and maybe try to get a picture of it.

*away*

Ah~! Back. Well, i can't see anything clearly since it still stings my eye to stare at it using the filem, even after i added the sunglasses! o.o; Well, even if so, i can't see the FULL ECLIPSE. India will experience that. Right now, i'm watching CNN. And they're already seeing the full eclipse of it. :0

AGH!! I WANNA SEE THE FULL ECLIPSE!! GAHH! CHINA TOO!!! Dx People are hustling and bustling about it!!

*away* 9.05am

YAY!! I finally understand how to use the film! Add multiple layers of films! And i finally saw the shape of it.
((Ow, i think i hurt my eye)).
I'll add how it will look like later.

People in India thinks of it as superstition. Lol. It's science versus superstition. Their belief was not to move in bed, do not touch sharp object, do not eat. Wow. Such superstition. They also say it's a once in a lifetime experience. A girl in India who has a big exam this day woke up at around 3am actually went to the site. They don't wanna miss it. Heh.
They claim that this was the longest solar eclipse of the 21st Century.

*away* 9.10am

The shape is still the same. I'll wait for another 10 mins.
Malaysia will only see very little of it's change. That means i'm only able to see a small edge a of a circle on the sun. This event was thought to end at 9.30am later.

Well, China and India right now is already experiencing the 'almost-full' eclipse. Whiles I...

*away to check the sun* 9.20am

...still see the same shape of the sun. The moon is only 'eating' 1/5 of it. It's very small. ^_^;; Yeah, it's still the same position. Lucky the people in India. And China. I'll wait another 10 mins.

*away* 9.32am

Well it's still the same shape. ^-^; Sigh. That's about it. So, now i'm waiting what time it will turn back to normal. =]

9.45am. Well, the sun is still like that. In china people are excited about the moon almost 'shutting' the sun. ^_^ Ooo~ *watches CNN* China was dark for a while. o.o Now it's 9.47am, the sun peeks out! O_O The movement of the moon is quick when it's leaving. o.o;;

The eclipse ended around 11am. >.<

2009-07-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

AS A BLOG NEWBIE,
I am still learning. *smiling widely. And it's an ugleh one* 8D Lol!
Pimples are growing in the middle of my forehead!!! GRAAAAAAAWWWRRR!!! D:< I'm finally home. :'D Let's all have a celebration! xD Let me tell you my adventures of How i got back home! [insert heroic song here]

*Ahem.*

It was Friday in KML. Woke up early today, at around 5.00am. Friday classes starts early. "GAHH!! No water!!" That was my reaction when i stepped out from my room that morning. Yes. There was still NO DARN WATER!! It's been weeks since it had been like this. "I NEED TO SHOWER!!" That was my next reaction after the first one. This is because the night before, i had no choice, i didn't bathe. BUT! It doesn't matter anymore! That Friday was the day that we all get to GO HOME!! FINALLY!!! YAYYY!!! WOOOOTT!! DANCE THE SHIN-CHAN WAY!!!!!!!! xDDDD
.... Okay. Ignore that.
Anyway, after I was done with all the classes that day, I see big smiles on every KML students. In fact, i was wearing one too! 8D I'm ready~! Home-motion! I'm ready~! Home-motion!! I quickly ran back to my room and packed my last few items into the bags!!
"Pack~ pack~ pack~ pack~ pack~ pack~ Ahhhhh~ Done packing!" I lied on my bed, waiting for the time to pass by until it was 5.30pm. My aunty and uncle was gonna pick us up at that time. Oh, Ika @ Nanase was joining me. =D We have the same flight! Yes, we used aeroplane to get back to Sabah land from Labuan Island.
We got to the airport! YAY! Now all we have to wait is to scan the bags and check in at 7pm! And it's only 5.30pm! 8D Happy happy joy joy! xD
Our flight was at 8.50pm. But it was delayed 10-15 mins. The whole of Labuan had no electricity!! O_O Even the airport had a blackout! Yep, the airport was quite dark at around 8.30-8.40pm. Lol! Interesting, no? The lights were back on 5 mins later. But that was only the backup supply. So, it wasn't as bright as how it was before - all dimmed and a but scary looking at some parts of the building. Looking at the watch, it was 8.45pm. And we (the passengers) we're still not sitting in the plane yet! O_O Sabby called. We talked till we were called in to enter the plane - which was at 9pm. They say it was raining back in Sabah. Prayed to God that our flight will be good hands.
And we arrived safely. ^_^ Sabah land, at last. (Ika and I had a fun time in the plane, being all nuts and crazy about going back home! Lawl!!!) The first personss i saw when i stepped out from the arrival door, was my sister and my mum. TwT Happiness. ^_^ Ika went the other way to meet her mum so we said our goodbyes to each other. I just hope we'll get to have an OUTING together while we're still in KK. Hihihi!!

2009-07-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, 14th July 2009
[Done OFFLINE in KML]

Today in my life, I seriously learned about honesty is the best policy. It has shown me that it's better to tell the truth than to make up stories that actually didn't happen. In other words, truth is better than a lie. And because of the existence of the word 'lie', i hurt someone's feeling today. I was accused and labeled as a 'liar'. That didn't felt good. The case wasn't anything serious; only a small matter - but it was very, very wrong of me to lie. (Argh! I have to stop using the word 'lie'. It pains me to type it every time.) Anyway, this i should tell some other day, not now. -__-"

*dances away*

"Take a deep breath, then exhale."
This is what i will remember and do if there would be any trouble and things get almost out of hand. This week, we had our 1st mid-term examination. I wouldn't want to say everything is hard, but it's not easy as well.

~ I discovered that i am terrible at remembering things nowadays, unsure why.

I did do some revision on the nights and early in the morning before the day came. So, on yesterday and today's exam, I faced my papers, exhale-inhale, and prayed to God. Took my pen and started my first word on the first page. Though, i am sure i will not get the best grade ever, but i did my very best in order to try to finish the exam.

*rest and sees the sky*

Ah. By the end of this week, the college's holiday will begin. It's so great!! Finally out of this place! FINALLY~!! Our first 'school' break. But I wouldn't guarantee it's all heaven back at home. Hihi~. I'm sure i'll be given a lot of homework - from house and the college. Oh well. At least, the toilet at home is WAY better than in college. Humph! And they call it a matriculation college.

2009-07-19T01:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday, 11tth July 2009.
[This was done during my OFFLINE time in KML]

Wooooot ~ man!! Last night i watched an amazing movie called Slumdog Millionaire! I have to admit that this was the best Hindustani movie ever and Kuch Kuch Ho Ta Hei LOST to it!

This movie was about a normal 18 year old guy who entered in the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire show. He plays and scoring the correct answers everytime! He's not a genius. It was because most of the questions was about his life experience since he was a kid. And he manage to go way up to 10mil rupees!!

It was truly and utterly amazing! Full of suspense and drama. At the same time, it was amazing full of actions and doubts!! MAKES YOU WANNA WATCH IT AGAIN! But i wouldn't. I don't want this exciting feeling to get bored. I'll be patient and watch it sometime in the near future which is not now. ^_^

Anyway.

Back to reality. That movie, i watched at around 12.30 am. And it actually ended 2-3 hours later. Yes, we slept late. We, as in my 3 roomates and I. It was amazing

Ugh~ The fellow's kid is whistling around the block while riding on his bike. It's quite annoying. That kid is annoying. Sorry sir, but your eldest son is. His manners are. One example, the other my friend and i was heading back to our rooms after finally ending the final class that day. As we pass by the fellow's house, which was situated on the ground floor, in frontal area of our Block D, the kid stepped out of the house with a plastic cup on his right hand, and i'm guessing the content was half finished. We walked by and SPLASH! He sprayed that cup of water onto us. My friend got the worse, she was terribly wet on her left side. ARGH! We feel like we wanted to walk back to that kid and actually smack his face! Sadly, it was our fellow's son.
Urgh~ "Why i oughta...!!!"
He also goes around screaming at students who was passing by their house. I don't know what the heck he was screaming but all i know is his voice was a pain in the ear. Oh yeah, there was also one incident, when my roommate, Kero, was heading back to our room after her evening jog. She was passing by the fellow's house and the kid was outside riding on his tricycle. The kid spoke telling Kero that her pants was thorned. Of course, when she heard it, she stopped and looked at her pants trying to locate where the thorned area was. As she was checking her pants that kid quickly ran to her and grabbed her wrist and not letting it go! Kero tried to get his hand of, but weirdly it was strong. Tried again and she manage to ran away from him! She gave me a shock when she slammed the door of our room. She told me what happened, and my perspective towards the fellow's son has tilted 60%. Bah! Annoying.

Argh! There's NO WATER in my block!! This has been happening for a few weeks already. WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT? Before, it wasn't like this!!! This is so stressful.

Moving on.

My cousin, who was an ex-matriculation student but not in KML, called me just now. We had a great chat with each other. She asked how was i doing and how was life in there. I gave the common 'I'm alright' and 'Life was okay here' saying. But i did complained about the trouble we have to face here every day, which was the water problem, facilities problem, the time managing problem and the homework and pressure problem. There's so many. Heh. Usually, doctors or anyone who holds a high profession of a job would give you encouragements like "Study hard", "Get 4.00!", "That's the struggle you have to go through", "Study-life was amazing", "I was a hard-core maths person!". But it's amazing to hear someone who actually had gone through matriculation life before saying, "Oh my goodness, I would never ever wanna go through that again." And that out from my cousin, a DOCTOR, Ito. It makes me laugh and actually encourages me to aim even higher in life - which was to finish this school life quick. Hihi~!

We're gonna have our first mid term exam next monday (today's a saturday, so there's like a day left from it). Agh. I hate myself. I don't know why i don't feel anything for it. Why am i not afraid?? It's the UPS man!!! Why aren't you studying?! WHY!?
So i hate myself for this. I realize that ever since i was over with my pressured self that i had before, i became more and more .. how to say, lost hope being in here? Is that the right word? Or can i use, I can't do anything or i don't feel like i am ever gonna get up.
Wow.
I don't care anymore. Ah, that's the right word. I can't do anything much. Sad. I wonder what happened to my hopes and dreams to travel far?
Gone, i guess.
Sigh.
My mum always sends me messages saying YOU CAN DO IT and I HAVE CONFIDANCE IN YOU, I KNOW YOU ARE CAPABLE. But I don't know why it doesn't give me much effect anymore. I don't feel encouraged. Last time i used to. But now.. i don't have to idea.

God save me.

1st Blog.

2009-07-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!
I HAS A BLOG!! Let's rot out grammars!! >:D

Today was raining. And i just manage to create this blog of mine!! :D Ain't that good?? Hehe. Anyway, thanks to Kero (she introduced me to this) I finally created one. [[Her blog was cute looking. I'll add her link soon.]]

The first time i saw other people use this BLOG thing, i was like, "Huh, what's the use. It's only for people who have time for this. Do I have time?"
But in the end (right now), i made one.

What else?

Oh.

I'm in KML. Wait! Let me rephrase that ... K-M-Hell!! D:< *horror background music* I'm so mean. Sorry. But it is true, life is almost like hell here. Because... it is. So many things to do, so little time. What more if you have quizzes and exams every week. Dx< (Yes, and i like to use lots of letter emotes :D)

((Eh... I don't have enough time to do this. Right now, i'm sitting outside the lecture halls, on the floor, with Kero, both with our laptops trying to get the wifi from the library. Sadly Kero's lappy died. =.=" Sad. Gah~ I'll continue soon. >.<))