o _ o

I don't know.


Where ever i may be, i'm always having a hard time. I mean, here at home my dad is like pushing me around to study my physics. I'm like, "I'm not taking physics anymore!!"


Yes, i've changed my future career. I'm gonna be a Quantity Surveyor. Look it up in Wikipedia, you'll find out what job is that. And i'm focusing to this job. NO more change (i hope). Cuz, for all this while, i realize that i don't know what my dream job is. Yeah, i don't know. I ENVY people who has one. One example, Sarah Leong (a very good friend of mine) wishes to be a Lawyer in the future. And she tries her best to get into any institute to get that course. Now, she's just waiting for the UiTM results to come out for the December intake. In the mean time, she's taking computer graphics.


Another example is my neighbor's son. Lawson was his name. He's now in Limkokwing taking Architecure. Argh!! He went to Cambodia the other day to do his practical - at the ACTUAL site!!! Omg! His mother told us that he doesn't care how long or how hard it will take; it's because he likes architecture. Sigh. I'm in an envious mode right now.

This also goes the same to another friend, Emarald, sister. Her sister works as an architect assistant or some sort. I ask Ema whether being an architect to her(sister) is hard or not. Ema told me that she wasn't sure, but what she was sure of is that her sister loves architecture. Hmm.

And then, there's Sabby. She's already made her way to the Bachelors. She's taking tourism (i'm right?). She's actually very good at it. She told me once that she wanted to be a businesswoman. And so she is becoming one, once she finished her studies and all. Huh.

Envy.

From listening to all this, i begin to wonder - what the hell i wanna do in my life?? This question actually came up after i got myself out off matrics and met with my relatives in my aunt's house the other day (my youngest cousing was celebrating his 1st month day). So there i was helping around with the preparations, till one uncle and aunt asked me, "So you're out of there?'
And i said, "Yes,"
They asked, "Are you happy?"
"I am...," with a slight 'question-mark- tone in the end. I realize i wasn't pretty sure whether i'm happy of being where i am now (a nothing-to-do person).

Then, it reminded me of one of my closest aunt's question last year after SPM:
"What are you gonna continue as in the future?" she asked.
"Civil Engineer," I answered.
"Do you LIKE being a civil engineer?" she asked again.
"Oh, i don't know. But my dad wants me to do it, so i do it," I said plainly.
"Are you sure you want this?"
"Um, i guess,"
"If YOU, what do you actually want to be?" she continued.
"Uh.. i don't know..?" I puzzled myself.
"What? Really? I'm sure you want to be something," she smirked a bit.

Wow. This question triggered me A LOT this time, right now.

After a lot of thinking, i like maths. So, I'ma go continue as a Quantity Surveyor (checked out how the job is. including picture searching). It's gonna be like a rodeo ride, but i'll make it through. I saw this sentence in one institute that was describing about Q.S. , it said "Best VALUE for MONEY".
I couldn't resist.

Yet, my dad is giving me a lot of trouble nowadays. Like i said, he was pushing me to study my physics (OH COME ON!). Yeah. He also told me to go look for a school that provides that course. I found one. UCS - United College of Sarawak. It's in Sibu. It was the first private college to get the LAN from the government. I was proud to listen to that. Heh. LAN, look through it. ^_^;; I kinda forgot the full explanaition. The next intake from now will be in Jan. Great! But gargh! My dad forced me to look for uitm. I found one too, it's in Sarawak as well (uitm sabah doesn't provide it) but the intake is in DECEMBER. I don't wanna miss Christmas!! Dx
I was kinda having a hard time thinking it through (did a small quarrel with my dad again). I even shed my tears but heh, no one would care what those mean. Sigh. Went to BSN today to get that registration slip. Tried to register myself in Uitm. Ngeh. An Error occured. Oh well, might as well continue doing that another time.. tomorrow?? Sigh.


ANYWAY. I've been drawing, Gaia onlining, watching Whose line is it anwayw (thanks sab!) and playing this Mystery Case File - Return to Ravenhearst. This game is creepy, but it's better than playing counter-strike sometimes. xD

Toodles. Ima go do lots of thinking again.